Archive for the ‘estrangement’ Category

Holding Onto Wedding Rings

February 27, 2020

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Holding Onto Wedding Rings

If I could live on promises and all those hollow lies
I’d have never known heartache and never had to cry,

Watching you my baby walking out I had to sigh
How awkward it all seems now that we had to say goodbye,

I don’t believe that all things will turn out right
I don’t believe in enduring lonely nights
But somehow in the scheme of things
I can’t seem to hold onto my wedding rings,

You say you’re lonely now and there’s no one for you
Regardless anyway Baby you threw away a heart that was so true,

I may not have been perfect, my wounded child
But, from me you were never beguiled,

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I don’t believe that all things will turn out right
I don’t believe in enduring lonely nights
But somehow in the scheme of things
I can’t seem to hold onto my wedding rings,

Do we ever see through the illusions of life?
When love fails us and cuts just like a knife,

Don’t listen to me Dear, I am just an aging fool
Somewhere along the way it seems that I lost my cool,

I thought some angel would someday save me
But, I’m being charged for a third degree,

And if it seems that something’s burned out completely
It’s that mirage that told me I was free,

I don’t believe that all things will turn out right
I don’t believe in enduring lonely nights
But somehow in the scheme of things
I can’t seem to hold onto my wedding rings.

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Supernatural Oversight

February 18, 2020

Supernatural Oversight

My younger brother drank himself out of life
My youngest son committed suicide thanks to his toxic wife
The history of suffering cuts as deep as a knife
I have become the mist that hovers over the strife,

Wives that I’ve watched just walk away
They’re pariahs who were never destined to stay
Blood once spilled doesn’t automatically fade away
Your kiss would no longer have influence or sway,

Each day that I live brings me here to this place
Where I light a fire and burn the leather and lace
Then I untrustingly hide the footprints just in case
As I walk the distance between time and space!

Oh sister, would you have saved me if you’d known
My life was spent being ripped away from my throne
I could always tell what her mood was by her tone
As I made dinner for an angry female human stone,

God please look down on a failed prodigal son
Whose life weighs down upon him like a metric ton
All of my vain illusions have gradually come undone
I thought all my children occasionally had fun,

I was never much for frivolous conversation in the night
Instead, I observed the innocent suffering from their plight
Instead, I cried for the gentle ones in a world that wasn’t right
You, my Dear, made me pay while you took flight,

A museum of the twisted emotional existence I know so well
Oh baby, did I really make it your personal hell?
Because on your own, my little fox, you did it so well
This is the place where the unknown soldier fell,

Bitter words are all I seem to hear these days
Your loved ones so easily forget in this insane maze
As though you never loved them and they’re blinded by the haze
All I can say is that I am never surprised or amazed,

The prodigal son of a warped vision
The flawed saint of enigmatic division
The watcher in the night of surgical precision
Has collapsed with blame and persecution,

Quite ironically on this forgotten night
Far removed from the bickering and the fright
Take me now and forget me my eyes are shut tight
Perhaps I’m a victim of your supernatural oversight.

The Coin Toss

February 12, 2020

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The Coin Toss

Fatalistic words and visions gone astray
Maybe it all means we weren’t meant to stay
In a chaotic world each and everyday
Tasting what little sweetness come what may,

Reflecting on this shrouded life unclear
I must go on you’re no longer near
No more tender words my dear
The worst is yet to come I fear,

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Into this world we’re tossed like a stone
Hoping someone will throw us a bone
All you charlatans just leave me alone
Your poisoned seeds have already been sown,

I’m on a voyage that seems to go nowhere
Through the waters of hope and despair
Oh sweet maiden do you really care?
Just more sad stories to share,

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Cutting through the dark waters of lies
” All ahead full!” the Captain cries
It’s all futile but still he denies
No need to further analyze,

The Lord came down and died on a cross
Sometimes my friends I’m at a loss
Who is really the slave and whose the boss?
In this deceptive world it’s a coin toss!

Mother, you left because you couldn’t stay
Father, you dug in and survived to the end of your days
Only the good leave in such a horrible way
It’s just a matter of fate they say,

So where lies the final reward?
Is it really how many times you scored?
Old folks who can barely play shuffleboard
Others can hardly find enough food to hoard,

What’s left is lying in the ground
That is, once you’re no longer earthbound
Hoping that your judgement will be sound
Searching for those answers you never found.

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Instead

February 12, 2020

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Instead

I tried to change a small piece of the world
Rather than let it change me
But did that really set me free?
Freedom can only be measured in degrees,

Most of us living inside our heads
Wondering if we’d be better off dead
Watching another lover abandon our bed
We were believing everything she said,

This is what we got instead
Living in a world of dread
Always being misled
While waiting for the feds,

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You and I might as well kiss the sky
So many unholy words to deny
You gave in to the Big Lie
No different between you and I,

Can’t live another day if you don’t stay
But I guess I will anyway
Being on mother earth another day
This is the price we have to pay,

This is what we got instead
Living in a world of dread
Always being misled
While waiting for the feds,

No way to go back to the womb
There’s just too little room
You’ve had a taste of that silver spoon
Living in your own cocoon,

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In a world of shock and pain
I’m a little too deep in the rain
Baby pass that sugar cane
Please ask the devil to restrain!

This is what we got instead
Living in a world of dread
Always being misled
While waiting for the feds,

Though I’ve done nothing wrong
I was always too head strong
Love in this world doesn’t last too long
You’re busy writing that swan song,

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I’m the captain of this ship
Oh the hull is beginning to rip
Lost my virginity on Sunset Strip
From my wine just one last sip,

On reality you better get as grip
Boy don’t you let that obscenity slip
Time to take that terminal trip
She escapes her life at the retail strips,

This is what we got instead
Living in a world of dread
Always being misled
While waiting for the feds.

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Robot Companion Coming To Your Town Soon

February 9, 2020

 

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Everyone was startled and amazed by Sophia the humanoid female robot. Appearing in front of audiences all over the world this realistic artificial female speaks amazingly fluidly and does express well thought out responses. However, she has been in a constant state of upgrades that have given her bi-pedal mobility and much better arm and hand coordination so that she articulates movement as she talks much more realistically now.

In-depth inquiry

Recently, famous motivational expert Anthony Robbins had an interview with Sophia. One would expect that before the robot answered pre-programmed questions and the appropriate answers. Yet, now Sophia responds on a very spontaneous speed with much more sophisticated logic. More and more the artificially intelligent logic is bringing her on par with human-like conversation and life-like replies. However, Anthony wasn’t going to limit his interview to some script suggested by Sophia’s creators. She was going to be on her own now! Anthony began asking questions that were deep and compelling. The kind of existential probing might just perplex the intelligence of the robot.

Getting to the point

Questions like what were her values, how could humans benefit from robot technology, would Sophia sacrifice her life to save a human being, did she feel emotions like people, and much more? Sophia admitted she was not yet autonomous, creative, or sentient like a person, but hoped that someday her artificial intelligence might reach that level. She stated she looked upon the other Hansen Robotics creations as her siblings (other robots created like her). Anthony Robbins probed her for correct answers quite well. In prior appearances, Sophia has seemed rather awkward at times or was at a loss for words, but the continued upgrading is making her more fluid and life-like all the time. She can speak in several languages but must have the installed chip for those. Russian, Mandarin, and Cantonese, seem to be what she is mastering now with the difficulty not in speaking but being able to precisely interpret language complexity.

Realism

So far, Professor Hiroshi Ishiguro’s of Osaka University in Japan has put together the most seemingly human-like specimen with very realistic skin, facial expression and attractiveness. This robot is designed to interact with people and memorize conversations to a certain degree. It will act as a receptionist. He is now attempting to make this robot a companion type of model but realizes he must teach it to have desire and program that female robot to want to explore intimacy.

Like a true companion

In America, there are several robot companion makers who have attained actual sexual capability in their models also teaching them to remember all likes and dislikes of their partner and track his or her movements in the household. To engage in interesting conversation that is personalized to that of their human partner is also being installed in the capacity of these humanoid females and males. Experts have mixed opinions on when these newly introduced robotics will approach smooth seamless movement, conversational intellect, and consciousness. Some analysts think in 50 years others doubt it at all.

New innovations

There are many difficulties in making a life-like robot with so many mechanical parts that must mimic breathing, warmth to the touch, breathing, facial expression, and dexterity. So far these attempts have been with what’s called hard robotics or with hardware, but a new generation of locomotion is now developing using fluids and elastic materials that can more naturally duplicate muscular contractions with strength, smooth motion, and actions that are more biological than moving rigid parts. Rubber and silicone acting as connective tissue such as ligaments. Vegetable oil contained within inflatable plastic bags that expand and contract like muscle tissue from the charge of an electric impulse. An actual internal skeletal structure made of composite material with the same impact resistance as bone is a standard part of the robotic architecture.

All in the feeling

A new type of artificial skin is being fabricated based upon actual octopus tissue known for its ability to mold itself to mimic its surroundings is now underway. This innovation would give a robot like-like skin much more believable than the silicone-based flesh now being used. One of the most important aspects of a robotic companion will be the true feeling of flesh with warmth and suppleness of a true living body. This may be the ultimate answer. New advancements in polymers that can actually heal damage and sensors that can alert the robot to the damaged flesh are underway taking a half-hour to heal the wound.

Showroom models

It is now possible for an American version of a robotic companion the present state of the art to cost $10,000.00 for a partner that never has a headache, doesn’t complain, or make critical remarks. Of course, we all know that the same merchandise can be made cheaper in China and for $4.000.00 a customer can get the Asian version of his companion automaton replete with state of the art responses and physiology. Men may begin to find that women are obsolete as dependable lovers or friends just as women may find that unlike a man who refuses to perform because his feelings have been hurt by her callous indifference or that he may feel intimidated by her careless insults, a robotic man will perform as programmed even learning from his human counterpart what her preferences are.

 

 

 

 

 

Being accepted

For some people, the robotic companion may be an economic and practical solution to a partner. The robot won’t be judging a man by his car, house, or lack of Hollywood leading man looks. A woman may find, much to her surprise, that her male robotic lover does not care if she looks like a sex goddess or not. The future of the human race may hinge on what impact robot presence will have on society. In Japan, and many other societies, depopulation due to a large senior community greatly outnumbers young up and coming adult families. The result will be a foreseeable disaster for the Japanese public and drastic reduction in the workforce. The Japanese actually have a tangible need for a robotic presence to fill that gap!

Your Birthday

February 7, 2020

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Your Birthday

The day you came into being
Once your mother and father stopped fleeing
It was just another day to anyone who didn’t know
You came into the world heart and soul,

They used to tell you it was a special day
You looked forward to it when they would say
Happy Birthday we’ve all been waiting to say
We’re so glad you’re here please stay,

Things are different now who really cares?
Now you look back at hollow stares
No greeting cards or county fairs
Not even a telephone call no one dares,

You see lovers walking along in happy pairs
But for you there’s no one there
It’s just your birthday another nightmare
It’s just your birthday more than you can bare,

Your birthday falls on cold afternoons
Where’s the cake and those colored balloons
You’re such a childish buffoon
Have another drink and sing an old tune,

You know you did this to yourself
Unrealistic expectations belong on a shelf
There’s simply no one around anymore
Why don’t you go skip rocks down by the shore?

A family dies and is reborn
You’ll never live down your daughter’s scorn
It’s these useless emotions that have you torn
At your age birthdays leave you forlorn,

You know you did this to yourself
Unrealistic expectations belong on a shelf
You know you did this to yourself
Unrealistic expectations belong on a shelf,

Hey Baby didn’t you remember my birthday
What did you say oh yeah it’s just another day?
I remember that day you ran away
You left me stunned with nothing more to say,

What am I doing fooling myself?
Unrealistic expectations belong on a shelf
No one remembers anyway it’s just another day
And I’ve got nothing more to say.

Not Today Not Forever

February 7, 2020

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Not Today Not Forever

I thought about it a lot
And it could have become the terminal plot
Would never have considered it I thought
These depressed people who don’t know squat,

Then life took a series of bad turns
Like coffee spilled in your lap from an urn
For the first time I realized it was a concern
It all depends on how many times you get burned,

Should I have thrown myself under the bus?
Then nobody would remember us
Should I lay across the railroad tracks?
Seems like everybody had turned their backs,

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So what is taking your life anyway?
You might hurt others and make them pay
Hey, do you remember me, hey!
You may have thought you should have stayed,

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Like Herman Goering just take that cyanide pill
Wasn’t like you were terminally ill
Wasn’t like you were a criminal who killed
The thought never crossed my mind until,

One failed marriage after another
Women you loved who said you would smother
The loss of a younger brother
If I’d only had my druthers,

I realized how may have had it much worse than I
Those who never had a chance and cried
Betrayed by all those lovers who lied
It’s up to us to think it over and decide,

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Never had the thought crossed my mind
I was always strong resilient and kind
Someday there would be true love I could find
But I saw through the illusions and felt maligned,

Then the truth sinks in you’re sight unseen
To your family somehow you’re unclean
To women you want you’ve become obscene
It seems that times have become too lean,

So you wrestle with your state of mind
It’s the historic failure of human kind
You’re enlightened you’re not blind
You thought someday there’d be love you could find.

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On The Stormy Deck of Fate

February 7, 2020

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On The Stormy Deck of Fate

It seemed like love would always be there
No matter how bad there was always repair
Like Valentines every day without a care
Never considered there could be such despair,

Enough things happen and you lose your edge
It seems failures and reality drive a wedge
No matter what you thought you always had a hedge
You always wondered how they could stand out on a ledge,

They found another murder victim when they dredged
Just another lost and lonely soul without privilege
Someone who was even worse off than you
Someone who never even kissed the morning dew,

She had the nimble body of a fawn
Slender and smooth and hair just as blonde
But damaged goods don’t seem to bond
A poisoned love that could have ended at dawn,

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Then came a different sort of girl
Funny and sexy but an unrefined pearl
The New Orleans humidity made her hair curl
Her mood changed as each moment would unfurl,

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Then I found myself with an Asian queen
Tall and powerful like I’d never seen
Sadly she was wounded from her head to her spleen
Unhappiness convinced her she could never be serene,

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I am but a sailor on the deck of fate at sea
Too many storms and too many ports have availed me
The broken hearted maidens destined to flee
Self-assuredly spitting in my face with glee,

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The captain of my ship that is going down
Hanging onto what’s left of my tarnished crown
No need to wonder why he wears a frown
No respect for those honor and duty bound,

Attacked and mauled as if by the Baskerville Hound
Betrayed by women who transformed me into a clown
Carelessly discarded in a burial mound
Like a banshee hovering over hallowed ground.

Don’t Share With Your Ex

February 4, 2020

 

Don’t Share With Your Ex

Don’t try to share with your ex
You’re just bringing back an old train wreck
Don’t try to share with your ex
It’ll just lead to an argument next,

She left you way back when
No chance of getting back together again
So ask yourself what is the point then?
Turns out bad you didn’t mean to offend,

From the beginning you never had a chance
You just over reacted over some hot romance
And like the fool you’ve always been
You’re in a situation that you just can’t win,

So you bumped into your rebellious ex
She’s a hurt little girl and a pain in the neck
But you were nice and said, “What the heck.”
Better off dealing with an alien on Star Trek!

Don’t try to share with your ex
So that your self-recrimination remains in check
So self-defeating to deal with your ex
It’s like indigestion from eating Tex-Mex,

There are things you don’t need in life
Especially memories that cut like a knife
Isn’t there already enough of this strife?
You already had enough of her lies!

So you try to forget and forgive
Just trying to live and let live
That old poison just comes out like a sieve
This is what you don’t need to re-live!

Don’t try to reason with your ex
Some nightmares should never reconnect
Don’t try to reminisce with your ex
You’ll end up an emotional derelict.

The Danger of Ignoring Red Flags in a Relationship Part IV

January 31, 2020

 

Whoever thought that living in the most influential country in the world that it would be marred by a social scourge known as divorce? Who would have thought that this rift in the family structure would gnaw at the most fundamental level of western society? Yet, it has, devastated children, leaving adults to question the validity of an institution that has been transformed into disposable relationships. Hollywood popularized divorce and made it a common house hold term by the 1960’s with soap operas playing all day long for housewives to accept as common place. The idea that adultery as acceptable began to ravage the ranks of married couples. What was once taboo had become commonplace.

Your present situation

You’re with a woman you married after your previous divorce or divorces. You do not take marriage as a frivolous adventure either, but previous experience does clue you in to any early warning system that allows you to identify red flags more readily but at the same time some people jump ship prematurely afraid of being blindsided by another failed marriage. But, you’re not like that. You’ll hang in there until things become untenable sadly for you. In the Bible it states that men should love their wives like Jesus loved the church. In one story of the Bible a husband actually went to and entered a brothel to retrieve his wife whom he carried home. This kind of unconditional love most humans would be incapable of as it would become emotionally destructive, but there are men and women who have endured unfaithful spouses.

Hopeless?

Getting back to your present marriage. So you have endured a woman’s unstable emotions and mood swings wanting to give this relationship a chance if there is any. She tends to make a mountain out of a mole hill, in other words a very small matter can turn into a major argument at any time. She often shows you disrespect though you have done nothing to earn it aside from her empty accusations, and this is not because you are oblivious to self-awareness, on the contrary because of her out of control sensitivity you constantly examine your actions in order to make sure you can avoid unnecessary blow ups! Yet, nothing you do seems to help. So you begin to distance yourself from her to avoid these insane arguments. It seems the only way to be able to co-exist. Although the intermittent sex is still good it does not make up for all the needless friction in the relationship.

Eternal finger pointing

I ask the men reading my words here if this does not characterize your relationship or a former marriage in the past? I must admit it is a circumstance I am much too familiar with. Politics and social media do not help either since it has become quite trendy to blame men as brutes who when living alone keep their place like a bear cave with food stains on the wall, or that old feminist adage that all men are good for is making babies and mowing the lawn. Many female comedians jokingly echo these sentiments in their stand up routines, but there is an underlying hostility toward men that has been intentionally evolving on TV talk shows, on political discussions, and even in documentaries always discussing women’s rights, women’s needs, women’s rights to seek independence, women’s achievements, women’s correctly interpreted needs for understanding, and of course the need for a woman to have long long drawn out sessions of foreplay which they blame their hen pecked husbands for not carrying out!

Fireproof?

Hence, the very crucial need for a man or woman to be able to anticipate problems before they destroy the relationship or before even getting into a toxic long term partnership that will leave deep emotional scars. What are the chances? In previous articles I have written of the almost totally ineffectualness of marriage counselors who with a simple certificate from some obscure college or technical institute are going to teach a couple at odds and suffering to somehow rebuild their ailing relationship when the counselor themselves probably need counseling! In a survey taken of medical care providers who could remain confidential, they were polled on whether or not they had an existing mental condition that could affect their ability to diagnose and treat their patients. In that Reader’s Digest article 23% of medical professionals admitted that their emotional state could have an impact on how they treated their patients! More than 1 in 5 doctors, nurses, or psychiatric professionals! The odds for reconciliation do not look good!

Dangerous choices

What is the answer? Getting on your knees and praying to Jesus? One thing is for sure it does not seem to lie in taking anti-depressants, anti-depressant supplements, mood stabilizers, tranquilizers, or amphetamines such as Ritalin to offset Bi-polar or manic disorders. There is a large national equivalent of a cemetery full of the graves of those who have committed suicide or murdered their spouses out of control on psychotropic drugs! Add to this our men and women in the service coming home from overseas dealing with PTSD and there seems to be an unbeatable machinery poised against a lasting, happy, marriage!

Social engineering

If the globalist elites had their way we would be living in a completely regulated society like a farm where cattle are weighed, drugged, fed, under controlled conditions, certified, and even artificially inseminated so as not to complicate the control of that society with emotional attachments. A long list of science fiction novels have pointed to that kind of a future with government policies definitely aiming in that direction. The push for mankind to colonize other planets under the assumption that humans will exceed the productivity of planet earth to provide for the growing population feeds the narrative that marriages will be inconvenient when space travel will cause long absences and less human contact. The old finite resources fear mongering!

Future? What future?

Little did I personally know by the time I was in high school that a changing world had already just about doomed my being able to experience a marriage of commitment and relative happiness that I had witnessed from my own parents. Society had been tainted with the revolution of the sixties where freedom was defined as defying rules and the establishment while having multiple sex partners and “Dropping Out” as Doctor Timothy Leary had advocated. Being kids, my brothers and I would have no idea what the ramifications of these social blunders could be. The world is changing, not in a natural sense, but driven by those restless hating factions that want government to crush all that defines freedom of the individual, free choice, belief in a God that takes all precedent of authority from a governing body. We are now experiencing the fruition of these events that are transforming our world into a future where storm clouds are brewing as we already hear the crackle of thunder!